The mental process I went through to decide how to start losing weight has been exhausting. Seriously, exhausting.
Weight loss news and information is EVERYWHERE. Every damn commercial, magazine, Facebook ad, and blog post (ha) has some new AMAZING and LIFE CHANGING product for us to see and usually, open our wallets for. Even the god damn celebrities we follow are selling us shit. Sorry Jenny McCarthy, I’m not buying the fitness drink you said gives you energy to keep up with your son on Instagram. Fuck you and your colleagues for praying on us non-famous people. Enough of the bullshit brain washing. I’m done with it.
Have you ever heard of the phenomenon “analysis paralysis”? It happens when someone becomes overloaded with too much information that they sort of freak out and instead of taking action they do nothing. It’s more fucking stressful than I can describe. To have all of this weight loss and fitness information in front of my eyeballs and not do a god damn thing with it…. it’s one more thing to feel like shit about! That’s why I have had enough. It’s impossible for me to focus when I let all of that noise in my head.
So, where do I start? Here’s what I know to be true about weight loss and getting healthy. Burn more calories than I consume so that my body starts to use the fat reserves and I’ll start losing weight. That’s the ONLY WAY I know how to lose real weight where I won’t balloon back up. Any of these diets that promise the world are temporary to me. I know some of them work for the short term but then what the hell do I do after? I’m done with those fads and I need to start with the basics.
I used to work at Jenny Craig and I helped people lose weight. This is NOT an ad for them — I loved my time there and my clients but it was over 10 years ago. That experience has showed me that hard work pays off. I saw people lose some serious fucking weight — we’re talking 100+ lbs. It also showed me a bunch of lame ass excuses from those who weren’t really committed. I’m grateful for the experiences I had because it’s now easy for me to spot those same lame ass excuses when I tell them to myself. I wouldn’t even be here if I was honest with myself over the two years. Instead, I lied to myself over and over just like my clients did. Okay, maybe I didn’t just wake up chubby. Damn.
To start, I feel that it’s not about picking a diet or one of these fad options. I feel that to start you have to have a conversation with yourself. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF. I’ve been having these conversations for the past week. Yes, it makes me feel like I have multiple personalities but it’s working. I now have accepted that I’m here. I NEED to lose weight. I won’t dwell on it too much because I need to stay positive but I have to acknowledge… NO ONE ELSE GOT ME HERE BUT ME. And now it’s time to get myself out. No more excuses and I’m going to call myself out on the bullshit. I’m now here and I’m ready to kick my fat’s ass (huh?).
I commit to being healthy first and foremost and look to lose weight through this learning process. As I mentioned in my first post, I have about 30lbs to lose. I know others have more but we all see the same struggles. Here’s why I commit to health as a priority over the weight loss. I now realize that this ONE FUCKING BODY is all I have. If I treat it like shit, I’ve lost out on more than I even know… my health suffers, I’m less happy, I’m less physically able, and as I age it’s really going catch up. So, I’m going to stop treating it like shit. I have one body and one life (that I know of) so I’m going to start treating it with respect instead of hating it for not being perfect.
I can make excuse after excuse but that gets me nowhere. I, like many of you, love food. I mean, really really love food. Like, I’m thinking about lunch while eating breakfast and so on… So, while I know I need to work on my relationship with food… I’m taking baby steps. I’ll start by making better choices with the food I do eat. I’m done with fast food. I’m not using food as a reward to losing weight anymore either. I’m also done drinking at the house. I used to have two glasses of wine and then damn it, a third glass because the first two were just too fucking yummy (and I was buzzed). No more.
As to what program I’m doing. I talked to my doctor about a 1200 calorie daily intake. Notice I didn’t say DIET. It’s a reduction in calories so that my body can start getting rid of the fat stores. I know I won’t fucking die on it so I’m going to stop being a pussy and acting like I am going to like I used to do… I just have to be smarter about those 1200 calories I consume. If I work out, I’ll eat more than 1200. The “starvation mode” is a real thing when you don’t eat enough so I’ll be cognizant of it.
I’ve tried this recently and it hasn’t worked so why am I trying it again? Because I was lying to myself on my real consumption amounts. I’m not letting myself off the hook this time so guess what? I bought a food scale. 4oz of meat or sweet potatoes will really be 4oz and not 9.5 ounces like I now realize I was really eating. I’m also logging every morsel in myfitnesspal.com to have a record of what seems to work and what doesn’t. This program can save meals for easy tracking so that will help me. Again, not an ad, it’s just the one I chose and there are other good trackers out there too.
Today is the start of day 3 of this journey and although I wish this weight would just disappear, I’m excited to move into the future for once. I’m tired of beating myself up for gaining the weight. It’s only positive thoughts from here on out. I know I’ll have a bad day here or there but instead of saying “fuck it” and sabotaging the rest of the day, I’ll suck it up and get back on the path I’ve set for myself.
If you have any feedback or questions, I’m happy to take them! I look forward to sharing my story with you and learning more about your experiences too! Now, let’s get to fucking work.